Style Session No. 6 – Sticks and Stones

“Her body is okay, but her face…”

25 years ago I was a junior in high school. I still remember exactly which hallway I was walking down when I passed by a group of boys who were friends with my boyfriend at the time. And one of them said those words.

25 years ago and I still remember.

I’ve always been a pretty confident person. I’ve never really felt ugly or insecure (thanks Mom and Dad!). But I really didn’t appreciate that comment.

That idiot (forgive me, Jesus) didn’t know who he was dealing with. Did he think his words would break me? Of course they didn’t, but I won’t deny that they affected me. Would he tell my boyfriend that’s what he thought of me? Would my boyfriend change his mind about me? (He didn’t.)

Words hurt. You can shake them off, but sometimes they linger. Sometimes they hit right where you’re most unsure and least secure. Sometimes they validate your worst fears. Sometimes they instill new fears.

But here’s the thing – who determines how you feel about yourself? Is it the guy who doesn’t even know you? Is it the girl who spews meanness at anyone she doesn’t like? Is it your friends? The celebrities you follow on Instagram and Twitter? The models in fashion magazines or Victoria’s Secret catalogues? The beauty vloggers on You Tube? The athletes on your favorite team? Is it your parents? Your youth leaders? Your teachers?

Everyone you come into contact with, and everyone who is in your sphere of influence, can affect how you feel about yourself. It’s hard NOT to compare ourselves to the people around us. However, we are in control of our own body and mind.

You are in control.

When you are in control, YOU call the shots. YOU determine how you will feel about yourself. YOU decide who gets a say into your emotions. YOU choose what you will absorb and what you will let bounce off.

Sometimes there are a lot of voices coming at you – some good, some bad. But deep down, you know the voice that knows you best. The voice that gets you; the healing one. The voice that – if you let it – will drown out all the other voices:

Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you.

You did not choose me, but I chose you.

Here’s the thing. No one’s opinion matters more than Jesus’s. He created you in His image – is there anything more beautiful? I talked about this fall’s fashion trends in my last post, but none of them will make you as stunningly gorgeous as having Christ in your heart. And there aren’t enough car wash skirts or statement earrings or three-quarter length coats in all of Paris, Milan and New York combined to make you as shiny and pretty and valuable as the only accessory that truly counts: Jesus’s blood. It purifies you from the inside out, because true beauty starts with the heart.

Don’t allow negativity, name calling or the comparison game to drown out God’s voice. You are beautiful! You were chosen, and you were worthy of the cross. Does anything else matter?

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That guy in my high school did not have a beautiful heart. I happened to run into him at my cousin’s house a couple of years ago. He hadn’t changed much since high school, but this time he kept his mouth shut.

~ Silva

If you have questions or topics you’d like to see addressed in this blog, please email me at [email protected]. You can read more from me at www.onmyshoebox.blogspot.com

To read more from Style Session, check out Style Session No.5