Awkward silences, butterflies and sweaty palms are a few of the symptoms experienced on a first date. The pressure-filled atmosphere and uncertainty makes some individuals uncomfortable.
While some prefer single dates, others find group dates less stressful. Common to many students, Lorin Weskamp, ’08, favors weekend dates and group hangout time.
?It is really fun when we go to Cal-skate, bowling or to the movies,” Weskamp said. “I prefer group dates though because they are more interactive and fun.?
Though dating may appear as a social pastime for some, others choose to wait. Scott Orcutt, ’09, believes dating is unnecessary.
“I believe that you shouldn’t date too much in high school,” Orcutt said. “It is important to save some of yourself for your future spouse. Each person you date takes away from your future spouse.”
Scott Falk, campus pastor, encourages one-on-one dating for older teens and group dating for younger teens.
?Freshmen and sophomores need to learn how to deal with the opposite sex without physical and emotional pressure,” Falk said. “Groups are the perfect setting, but I believe juniors and seniors are mature enough to know their boundaries and spend time with the opposite sex.”
Though dating has its advantages, it sometimes distracts from friendships and creates gaps in communication. An anonymous female junior’s personal experience allows her to relate.
“Boyfriends are very demanding because they always want to hang out,” the same junior said. “I would always have to say no to my friends because I was doing something with my boyfriend. I knew that I valued my friends, but it wasn’t coming across that way.”
The junior claims the break up resulted in a relief instead of heartbreak.
“I had wanted to break up with him for a while but I was afraid because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings,” she said. “The break up was hard for me because I saw how disappointed he was, but the relationship was too serious and I wasn’t ready for it.”
A different group of friends often lie as the main issue for a break up. An anonymous male senior has experienced this problem.
“The reason I broke up with my girlfriend was because she wasn’t friends with any of my friends,” senior said. “It made things awkward and difficult.”
The 1997 best-selling novel, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Joshua Harris, states seven points against dating:
1. Dating leads to intimacy, but not necessarily commitment.
2. Dating tends to skip the ?friendship? stage of a relationship.
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
5. Dating distracts young adults from their primary responsiblity of preparing for the future.
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God?s gift of singleness.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment to evaluate someone?s character.
Despite the anti-dating book’s best-selling status, Falk disagrees with the points.
?I think dating is based strongly on friendship,? Falk said. ?Balance between God, school, family, and relationships are very important, but I don?t believe that dating is wrong.?
For more information, visit Krissy Dembach’s April 21, 2006, article, Dating warrants caution.