Since the seventh grade, I have attended several dances, none of them sponsored by Fresno Christian. Most of them being Halloween parties, I often expected girls to come dressed inappropriately, with low cut shirts and high hemmed skirts. The parties consisted of loud rap music, and what most consider “grinding” or “freak dancing.”

Considering I am definitely not a fan of sexual dancing, I chose to stay away from holiday or birthday parties where grinding was the main event. However, when the opportunity to attend a free, parent-sponsored dance after the Jan. 24 Night of the Stars formal was available for students, I decided to give it a chance.

I went to the dance giving every student — including myself — the benefit of the doubt that we could resist the common dance of the average school. I hoped people would recognize that freak dancing is not the only way to have fun. Yet, in the first five minutes, I realized that my expectations were not to be met.

In fact, even trying to stay away from the line of freak dancers did not work. Several times I was grabbed by the waist and dragged in, being rubbed up against and feeling violated in every way.

It was sad to see someone who I looked up to as a strong spiritual leader “grind” with his date. I used to confide in him and share my spiritual struggles with him, and we prayed for each other often. But as soon as he stepped out on the dance floor, he contradicted so much that he claimed to believe in, causing me to lose my respect for him.

I know there are a lot of people who do not understand why freaking is wrong. I also know there are people who do realize it is wrong, but do not care. But to me, all it looks like is people trying to have sex with their clothes on — and I am definitely not okay with it.

Also, I thought that girls would take into consideration that NOTS is a formal event, and would refrain from wearing revealing dresses. Once again, I was wrong. I never thought I would actually feel embarrassed for someone else’s plunging neckline. Besides this, it was also upsetting to hear girls in the bathroom admit that their chest was hanging out too much, but not caring.

The way I think about the situation, is this: parents pay for their children to go to a Christian school, mostly because it is Christian-based and teaches morals and the Bible. But what is the point of sending your child to a Christian school for the purpose of engaging them in a spiritually healthy atmosphere, if you then allow them to attend extracurricular activities that completely contradict everything our school stands for?

I understand that there are parents who send their children to FC because it offers a great education, and the good morals are just a bonus. However, even in these circumstances, some would expect the parents in charge of the dance to put a stop to the obvious sexuality portrayed by their own children. In fact, the parent chaperones’ job at the event consisted of sitting outside of the doors of the ballroom, not acknowledging what students were doing.

In addition to FC’s own students involving each other in grinding, I am sure that dates brought from public schools learned a lot about the love of Christ with the way many students were dancing.

Besides the potential alcohol that is accessible to students at other schools, our dance did not look any different to the average public school dance. We are a Christian school. Why are we sexually putting ourselves out there to be looked at as nothing more than a piece of meat?

Is there even a point to anything our school stands for, if as soon as the bell rings to be dismissed we are going to act like sexually hungry animals that can only have a fun time dancing if they are glued to the front or back of the person with whom they are dancing?

I am not trying to sound like I am better than everyone else. There were several times that I felt tempted to “grind” with someone, just so I did not look like the outcast. I am not trying to point fingers to make anyone feel bad. However, I am letting it be known that this dance that I expected to be different than all the rest permanently changed my entire perspective on dances.

Next year, instead of the dance that will possibly be held after NOTS, I have decided not to attend. It does absolutely no good for my relationship with God, and I would rather go bowling or spend time with friends, where I am more comfortable with the accepted norm.

Editor’s note: The dance after NOTS was not a school-sponsored event and not associated with Fresno Christian Schools nor the sponsoring churches.

For more responses to this article, read the Feb. 2 article, Wrong freak focus.