Humility. Something I have always struggled with since I was young. I never understood and am still trying to figure out why this subject is so hard for me to grasp. The internal fight between pretentious entitlement and humility would probably define my learning experience at Fresno Christian. But through the different hardships that I encountered in the last four years, I would not ask for anything different.

Reverting back to my freshman year, I never thought of myself as a student journalist, nor was I going to give up my free time during lunch to work on the school newspaper. When journalism adviser Greg Stobbe approached me about becoming a part of The Feather Online, I laughed in his face and mocked him, saying, “I will never become a part of your little team. I don’t need you, so don’t bother asking me again.” Stobbe never asked me again, but it was my sophomore year when I received a “D” on my first english essay. I was devastated and I knew that I needed help but was too prideful to ask.

After receiving my second less-than-honorable grade on an essay, I thoroughly thought it over and knew I would need to consume my own pride and ask for a possible position on the journalism team. I knew I needed to become a better writer. I remembered Stobbe trying to convince other students to join because it was a great way to better their writing skills.

After begging Stobbe to allow me to be a part of The Feather, I went through some intensive training that eventually lead to my first article, which took me three months to write. I was so prideful that I did not want to ask for help. It wasn’t until Stobbe threatened to fire me when I reached out to former Senior Editor Ashley Ward for help.

When I forced myself to become humble, I was able to ask for help and complete my article with ease. Humility is not always something easy to apply in life. I think the true definition of humility is when the patience one has when they have nothing versus the attitude one has when they have everything.

Fast forward to my senior year. It seemed like all my hopes and dreams were crushed when the leadership teachers Robert Foshee and Kim Bimat told me they decided not to continue ASB positions this year. They wanted to try something new. I was furious and outraged. My entitlement issue or problem, whatever you want to call it, started to eat away at my bones and I became very bitter. I felt entitled to the responsibility of leading the school as their ASB President. But as some would say, and I agree with, God had a different plan; instead I was elected as Sports POD leader.

Under the mentorship of Bimat I started to learn one thing very quickly: humble influence was the key to becoming a successful leader, not a pretentious, entitled brat who just craved a title to flaunt around. Conversation after conversation, tears, confusion and clarity all helped to evolve my life. The most important aspect of my life I was lacking, was deepening my personal relationship with Christ.

Bimat made one thing clear to me, that without Christ being the center of my life, my human nature of being a greedy, pretentious brat would always win. But first, I had to want to change. No one could force me to change; the want to change needed to come from within.

The internal struggle that I battled for months was over a title. If both leadership teachers continued with ASB positions then I think as President I would not have a good name (legacy) to leave, because of my underdeveloped leadership skills. This verse that I could not understand became clear to me, Proverbs 22:1 states “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”

When I read the The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell, the foggy became clear, the confusion was no more and I was left with a moral cross road: either I continued to to live in ignorance and never master the laws of leadership, or I could take the advice and apply it to my life and see how far I can go with those tools.

After reading the book I made one of Maxwell’s wise sayings a quote to live by: “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them and strong enough to correct them.”

This quote humbled my spirit tremendously. One thing about me is that I hate accepting blame for something I have done; for me to admit and learn from my mistake is a huge pride killer.

Throughout my entire high school career I am thankful for all my friends who have stood by me and never drifted away even when times were tough. I have one friend in particular who I have gotten close to and continues to teach me that I am loved, even when I don’t feel like it.

Life is not about pleasing others, it is about what makes you {in this case myself} happy and content with life. For me, humility means not having an attitude of boastfulness and not trying to attract others to myself for what I have.

There is more to life than showing off, which I have learned from the friends that I made in journalism and the adventures we have taken. I can honestly say God has a sense of humor, and he has a plan for everything. We may not understand it now, but we eventually will in the future.

Melendez will attend the University of San Diego and plans to major in business finance with a minor in Spanish. For more opinions, read the May 20 article, Mohun reflects on time flying, past year (VIDEO).