Honestly, I find it weird how life takes its course without asking permission from its master of where he wants to go. A month ago today I came home from a quick trip to Mexico only to be conflicted by my self-conscious actions of self-inflicting pain. My mind was clouded with so many thoughts and for a time I believed myself to be lost, however it was two days after my arrival that my mind was finally cleared.

I went for a bike ride through Fresno, and there my 17-year-long journey through the beginning stages of life finally made sense to me. Finally everything, which seemed so obscured from my view, came into tangible proximity, and I could feel it with every pump of the chain that drove me forward.

I could be lying to myself, but from my heart I know that there was a turning point within the world where everything changed. For those of you who don?t know me, allow me to introduce myself. I am Juan Gerardo Ruelas Jr, or just Juanita for those of you who like to antagonize me.

I still remember the first day I came to Fresno Christian. I had just received my braces from my orthodontist and I came for an orientation-style reception held in the gym where a magician greeted me warmly; he would later turn out to be a close friend of mine.

During those initial moments of starting my career as an Eagle, I learned something from this magician that I still treasure to this day. When my parents and I walked through those silver doors, the first person to talk to us was Brady Lee, ’12, except Brady didn?t talk with his words; he talked with his actions. Brady confronted us while he pulled out a deck of cards from what seemed thin air and instantly we were engaged in conversation.

Through a series of magic tricks, Brady had shared his name, his grade, the gospel, campus history, other various important information, but most importantly of all he shared wisdom. This wisdom, which I saw in action, guided me through my entire high school career. Simply said, you cannot be afraid to put yourself out there.

With this in mind, I joined a plethora of groups and clubs. However there was one club in particular that seemed to agree with my idea of not joining it. This group, well in reality it is more of a cult in our school, was journalism.

For the same reason I procrastinated in writing this reflection is why I did not officially join until my sophomore year, and that is because I wholeheartedly loathe with the burning, white-hot intensity of ten thousand suns to write long pieces of writing unless it is necessary. My grade was on the line for this so I guess this qualifies as necessary.

That being said, I joined a class called video productions instead. Up until high school I had only self-taught knowledge on the art of video making. Before I had an Apple computer, I used free software such as windows moviemaker to make shoddy videos that all kids usually make. I upgraded to sony vegas moviemaker pro when I was in eighth grade, but to no avail I never really understood the software.

Then during my freshman year I met my really awesome video productions instructor named Scott Callisch. He taught most of what I know today; him, youtube, google, wikipedia and various other free websites for the novice taught me everything I know about filming and video editing. From this skill, however, I learned that knowledge comes with responsibilities. Soon I was put to the task of making videos for The Feather, which was something I was rather skeptical about.

At first I thoroughly enjoyed being able to make a video and then see it on the website for all of the FCS community to see, but as the years came by every video seemed to take longer to produce. I realized the reason for this was because I was becoming more meticulous with my work and I paid attention to every detail, which can be extremely time-consuming, especially when I have no time.

On a side note, just so everyone knows, I am a native Spanish speaker so my English can sometimes sound confusing because I do not pronounce the words right and I barely had my braces installed so my speech was not all that eloquent. The consequence of this speech impediment was a nickname bestowed upon me, which, thank god, was superseded by my other nickname Juanita. Yes, I used to be called the mumbler, however only for a short period of time.

From here on out is where the details of my high school career come out of the shadows. To keep it brief and concise, as I do have a rather lengthy and grand set of stories to tell, I will keep the story plain and simple.

Beginning my freshman year I was unofficially on staff because there were no media-only positions to be held. I made videos when I could and escaped the writing part of Greg Stobbe?s journalism class, as I was not in it.

My sophomore year, despite my parents? objections, I declared my intent of joining this crazy society of journalistic die-hards. My parents objected over and over, but I defied them and did so with their acquiescence. They turned out to be right and wrong at the same time as I awoke a great journalistic passion within me, but I needed to learn time-management.

I was teaching karate full-time in Madera, and an hour trip there and back already consumed two hours worth of homework time. The earliest I could arrive to my house was right before midnight and I was tired, sweaty and not in the mood to do homework or Feather work. This was not very wise as I was also an athlete in school, so basically I was overworking myself.

Through my mistakes I learned time management, and I was able to apply those set of skills during my junior year in which I achieved perfect grades that entire year. I was motivated and I knew where I was going, but something happened during my senior year that changed me entirely.

This year was a year of maturing, as it was a sum of my entire high school career. Four years, thirty-six months, one hundred forty-four weeks, seven hundred forty days, four thousand for hundred forty hours, two hundred sixty-six thousand four hundred minutes, fifteen million nine hundred eighty-four seconds and here I am about to graduate.

I am going to be truthful with everyone reading this. I loved my senior year, but just like any son about to leave his nest, I was not the exception when it came to growing pains. This year academically has been the easiest I have ever done, but also the most challenging, as I was deeply ill with senioritis thus rendering me unmotivated to do anything. It was within this period of unproductiveness that I began to loose myself.

I reflected back upon this year?s entire experiences in order to gain insight into who I really was. I had lost myself with the illusion that everything was flowers and roses. I was deeply in love at the time, and having your soul ripped from your flesh was not a pleasant feeling. I was unmotivated and broken. Yes, for once I was broken.

It was then that I took a retrospective look upon everything I did this year; every good thing, in order to rediscover the person I once was. I made more time for karate so that I might make sense of myself with physical activity. I meditated upon my past and future, and where I would like to be within ten years.

I recalled being the soccer captain this year, I recalled being one of the kings nominated for homecoming where I, along with four other kings, danced like idiots for the entire school. I recalled reading for my book buddy with the book buddies program. I recalled my brother in the Brother-to-Brother program in school. I recalled the trip I took with two of my friends to Mexico where I got to show them where my family is from. I recalled wrestling with my real brothers and teaching them about soccer and karate. But most importantly of all I recalled my relationship with God. My relationship with God had to rekindled as the flame was almost doused.

This is where the story ties together. With all the meditating and reflection, I decided to take a bike ride through Fresno. What happened during that small journey changed my view on life entirely. I was cycling through the bike lane as fast as my body allowed me to for I was in great desperation with God and man alike.

I could feel the rhythm of the chain through the seat and my heartbeat through my chest. My mind was in a swirl of confusion as I was trying to re-motivate myself somehow, although I did not know how. My bike was cruising through the asphalt and I had a moment of solace.

That was when it happened. I was praying a silent prayer to myself, asking God for guidance and wisdom when my seat broke off. I was not completely aware at what had just happened as my bike threw me onto oncoming traffic. In an instant my life went from safe to in-danger-of-dying.

A blue car, I don?t really remember the make, was speeding right towards me on the right lane. I recall rolling out of the lane onto the sidewalk just in time to avoid the car, which had not even noticed me. I stood up and found my bike and seat neatly placed next to each other as if someone had just played a sick joke and threw me onto traffic just for fun. I was still trying to make sense from what just happened, but all I knew was that I almost died.

I did not tell anyone, except a close friend of mine for fear that my parents might be angered by my rash decisions to suddenly leave the house on a fools journey. So, sorry mom if you are just finding out about this right now. And sorry dad I used your tools to fix my bike afterwards. But something happened after that incident that changed me. I realized that God has a funny way of playing out your life story, and although it?s not always how you want it to be, it is the way God wants it to be.

When my life flashed before my eyes, as I saw this huge car coming 60 MPH towards me, I realized then that life is too short to not enjoy it. Sometimes we are to focus on the past or future that we forget to live where we currently are, in the present. We cannot change the past, however we can alter our futures, but let us not forget the present.

Through that experience I regained my motivation, and I learned that every moment in time is valuable, even if it is of small insignificance to you, it is a moment in time where you are alive, so enjoy it while it lasts. We don?t live forever you know.

For more opinions, read the May 23 article, College Corner: Wake up call.