For my entire life, all the way through freshman year, I never thought I would do anything other than home school. The thought of going to school in an actual school building with other students my age had crossed my mind a time or two, but was immediately disregarded as I was completely happy with home school.

Contrary to popular opinion, homeschoolers do not wake up at 11 o’clock every day and then go on “field trips” to places like the amusement park to learn about physics. I loved planning out my school year (Mom bought the textbooks, I scheduled it), waking up early to get a head start on my assignments for the day (so I could read during Mom’s nap time), holing up in my room (because you know, my siblings were working out at the kitchen table), doing schoolwork at my own pace (double math, double history for the day, why not?) and finishing my first semester work in late October (so I could knit Christmas gifts for the rest of the year). Homeschooling is a great life.

So, when my pitching coach suggested that we look into going to an actual school for the purpose of playing for the softball team to gain some much-needed experience on the mound, I wasn’t too keen on the idea. Since my dad worked at Fresno Christian (FC), and the Eagles had a softball team that needed a pitcher, we decided that FC was the place to be.

I started school at FC during the second half of my sophomore year and for the entire semester I wished I were still homeschooled. I was scared of just about everyone except for a few teachers, spent almost every single lunch period in our church?s student ministries office, tried to avoid half the conversations I anticipated, and worked mainly to please my teachers. Simply put, I let sophomore second semester be fairly miserable.

Junior year I got more involved, if we?re going to talk academics. I added journalism and CSF to my schedule, and actually had lunch with people from our school, if we?re going to call spending every lunch period in the computer lab working on articles for Stobbe. I got lots of work done, lots of work. Straight A?s, Junior Citizenship Award, A.P. English Language Student of the Year, Highest Honor Roll, you get the picture.

Two great years of schoolwork- not a bad thing, right? I mean, isn?t that what school is for? But then I started thinking, how much of an impact had I really made on our school? Maybe some influence on the people that I actually talked to in the halls and in my classes, but what about the rest of the student body? That thought messed with my mind like nobody?s business.
Why was I really at FC? It had to be bigger than softball. Leading the softball team felt futile most of the time, as a pitcher and catcher duo cannot make up an entire team. It had to be bigger than pleasing teachers. Great, they liked me, but half the time that just caused my class to be annoyed with me. It had to be bigger than schoolwork. Great, I got five of eight awards during my first semester, but all that did was make the other students call me an overachiever. And where are they now? Sitting in my mom?s closet upstairs collecting dust. Success yes. Significant no.

I struggled with that concept of success versus significance for a bit, and then realized that I needed to approach senior year a little differently. I constantly asked myself, “Say you knew you weren’t going to get any awards at the end of the year. Would you still be willing to live and interact in this way, even if it was not acknowledged?” I wanted to work and interact not for the academic or citizenship awards at the end of the year but for the people I would serve and encourage.

Since focusing on the relationships with people rather than schoolwork was probably my best bet if I wanted to make any kind of impact, I started with not spending everyday at lunch in the computer lab and actually being willing to talk to the people I saw in between classes. Instead, I spent my lunch periods tutoring, or hanging out with my junior high buddy, or being secretary for the Spanish Club, etc.

No, I didn’t get as much done on journalism as I did during junior year, and yes, Stobbe was not all too happy about that. Yes, being more involved with people made getting all of my schoolwork done much more difficult. Yes, I was a lot more tired than I was during sophomore and junior years.

But I got to hang out with an eighth grader who found herself set apart from her classmates by her work ethic, personality and high maturity level. I got to tutor one of our foreign exchange students struggling in calculus. I got to read Geronimo Stilton with one of my dad’s fourth-grade students whose physical condition caused her to operate more on a second-grade level and gave other students basis to tease her.

Sure, there were times when I was tired and I didn’t feel like investing any more of my time and energy into these people. Sure, there were times when I was busy and overwhelmed and I didn’t see how taking that time would work. But every time I chose to use that time for them, even when it was a sacrifice, I found that I was being refreshed and felt better than when I had started, and I eventually discovered that investing in people proved to be more rewarding to me than draining.

Why? Because God has called us to reach out, to pour out to the people around us. He didn’t just give us a light, a love to hold to ourselves and hide from everyone around us; He gave it so we could be His light, His love to our world. And He will provide the strength for us to do what He has called us to do.

Yes, homework is important, yes, sports are important, yes, grades are important, but God hasn’t placed us where we are just for those things. It’s got to be bigger than that. Everything we do has ultimately got to be about the people we are interacting with and investing in. Schoolwork just prepares you for the career you’re eventually going to use to help people. Journalism ends up being more for the people you’re writing the article about than the grade you receive for doing it.

Take the time to reach out to the people around you. Even something as simple as taking the time in the hallways between classes or shifts provides ample opportunity to get to know people and invest in them. You may not realize it, but there are so many people who just need someone to say hi and ask how they’re doing. Don’t be afraid to step outside of what is comfortable for you. Don’t be afraid to look outside of yourself to the needs of those around you. Take your candle and go light your world.

This writer can be reached on Twitter at @JennaWeimer42. Follow The Feather via Twitter at @thefeather.

For more senior reflections, see the May 19 article, Senior gets involved, gains campus family.