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The Student News Site of Fresno Christian High School

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The Student News Site of Fresno Christian High School

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Fear of failure: Struggle for acceptance

Clammy hands slide across a face and reach down to the paper below. His pencil shakes and foot taps incessantly. Eyes dart around the room while nausea settles in his stomach.

The algebra honors classroom clock ticks slowly and thoughts of fear pour into the mind of the math student.

Two weeks later as the teacher moves through the classroom, she makes her way to the anxious student and sets the unit test up side down on the table. The boy takes a deep breath quickly flips a corner of the test over and shoves it in his binder.

The fear of failure is common among every age, teenagers and adults alike. Pressure to succeed is found within every person.

However teens especially face a natural developmental need to be significant. This often results in pressure from their parents, teachers, peers and even themselves. Sense of worth is often measured during times of achievement or success.

Finding a balance between adulthood and childhood is a constant struggle for teens in addition to the normal changes they face growing to maturity.

?It hard being a teenager; there is a huge amount of pressure brought from my family for me to do well in school,? Nick Fraizer, ?07, said. ?At the same time enduring everyday struggles.?

Often perfectionism is aspired to gain attention or increase self-confidence. Others may choose to perform the opposite action. Many teens use a rebellious cover, to avoid the humiliation of failure.

?Doing bad looks cool to a certain extent depending on what friends you surround your self with,? Jason Savage, ?07, said. ?It is easier to fail than it is to succeed.?

Ron Huxley, a Fresno licensed marriage and family therapist, explained that children learn from an early age the expectations of their parents and peers.

?Fears commence from the early childhood,? Huxley said. ?Many of them are normal but when they grow larger through later years the fears become a major problem in life.?

Teens and adults, women and men, experience the fear of failure in different ways.

While Teens face more social elements while adults face pressure from their job, and earning enough money to support their family. Men often have a natural strive to become successful in the eyes of their peers, while women are more relationally focused.

?Women often compare themselves to other women,? Huxley said. ?This results in a feeling of inadequacy. Many women feel they don?t measure up to standards and expectations of what a mother and wife should be.?
The fear of failure can drive a person to succeed and improve his or her skills and abilities. It is also motivation to work hard, especially when focused on others? successes.

The fear of failure can also be a very negative aspect.

?The fear of failure can become irrational,? Huxley said. ?It can spur you onto success but it can also cause you to lose sight of the fact that you are a good person for who you are not what you achieve. That is ultimately found through God?s love and grace.?

The world defines failure as being poor dressed, powerless, unpopular, or physically unattractive. With this definition in mind we have created a culture of fear and avoidance of failure because of an attack from peers www.familyresource.com.

The real meaning of failure is found in a lack of values and morals, not the world?s but God?s. When the best effort is not given, often the ?easy way out? is chosen. Failure is allowing negative influences to help persuade us to make poor decisions and act against morals.

One way to combat failure is finding a healthy balance between success and failure.

?It is simply learning how to fail well,? Huxley said. ?Admitting to our fault and finding a way to change and try again.?

Acceptance of God?s grace, which is freely given, gives each person self-satisfaction and encouragement.

?But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us?(NIV; Romans 5:8).

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