Campus Spanish teacher Rachel (Señorita) Rodriguez begins to share devotions in a blog series. Rodriguez hopes to lead readers closer to in their relationship with God and believes there is always a new way to see and understand him. For the first blog in this series read: BLOG: Growing closer to God, an introduction. 

We have heard that everyone struggles with something or with multiple things and they can be small or big. Struggles stem from past experiences or from a current experience that is completely foreign to us.

One of my struggles is letting go of situations that have reached out of my control.  Before I have come to the end of myself and surrendered it to the Lord, I need to ensure that I did all that I could.  I make sure that I dotted all my i’s, crossed all my t’s and if I’ve already exhausted myself in trying to make it look what I think it should look like, I break.

I don’t like this about myself because it keeps me from enjoying the moment or from the lesson I’m suppose to be learning. You would think that since I am aware of the problem, I could just cut through the chase and just surrender it right off the bat. Yet, it is not that easy for me.

You see, I was raised hearing all that I did wrong and very rarely hearing what I did right. I grew up not knowing how to accept compliments and feeling that I wasn’t enough for the season I was going through. It also didn’t help that I was picked on most of my grade school years. Being the oldest of my siblings, I was held to a very high standard and was told that everything depended on me.

To the point that I was partly responsible for my parents splitting up, according to one of my parents. I will admit, I was a feisty, outspoken, and hyper little girl. So here you have this firecracker raised in a extreme controlled environment, you could imagine the tension that it caused in my family.

Years after being raised in a certain way, renewing my way of thinking has taken me quite a bit. There is still a lot of repairing to do, but I am glad that I am not the person I was 10 years ago. While I still hear the voices that tell me I am not enough, I’m thankful for God’s truth that tells me otherwise.

That same feistiness and boldness that got me in trouble, are the very traits that God gave me to use with His word against the enemy. I include God in everything that I do, because of Him, I found my way out of the darkness that would try to hover over my soul.

Everyone at some point has gone or will grow through a dark period in their life. My advice is don’t give up and yes it is easier said than done. Ultimately, your will has the last say and you are the boss over your will. When you align your will with God’s will you are secured for victory. Don’t let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.

When you feel like you can’t handle life and it seems that you are sinking, it’s okay to FEEL like giving up, but don’t let that rule over your will. Tell God “It’s too hard and I feel like giving up, but I don’t want to give up, help me!”. That has been my cry and you know what? God shows up in some way or form.

He’ll show up either through a friend, a co-worker, a student, a note, a memory, a gift or by someone completely random and tells you what you need to hear. Those are the bitter sweet moments of my life because the Lord comes to my rescue and embraces me with His unfailing love. He makes Himself known if we let Him.

If some of you are still opposed to God or are on the fence of whether He is good and He cares, He is good and He does care. This was my experience, but it could be different for you. You could be calm and low spoken and be picked on for that or be overlooked for being that way Yet, those are the traits that God could use to bring His peace to a person like me.

I hope I would bring courage and boldness to others so that they may stand and live the life God has for them. We were all created uniquely and God meets us however and wherever.

I dare you to cry out to Him with all you got and tell Him all the things that have been weighing on you; the things you think He caused in your life that seemed unfair and cruel. He is not intimidated by what you have to say, think or by what you have done. He already knows.

He is the God that sees all and knows all. When you become utterly, completely and real with God and invite Him in, that is when He can show Himself, or better yet, that is when YOU can see Him and feel His embrace.

For the first blog in this series read: BLOG: Growing closer to God, an introduction.