BLOG: Beckoning series, No.2

In her Beckoning series, Taylor Beckworth shares encouragement, advice and straight talk from her journey and the

experience of others as she draws near to the beckoning of The Lord. –Philippians 3:12-14 MSG

How does it feel to be a teenage girl?

During this week’s blog, we’re going to be discussing what it’s like to be a teenage girl. Because every young girl goes through various experiences, it’s a little difficult to touch on every point of this topic. Therefore, my friends and I are both going to share a few of the many things we have to deal with on a daily basis, and how we handle our fluctuating emotions. 

As a teen, many things like insecurity, beauty standards, and belonging fill our thoughts, and all we do is overthink, overthink, and overthink. These are a few points that we’re going to be working through.  

Insecurity

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Matthew 6:25

One of the biggest challenges teen girls face on a daily basis is insecurity. 

When people tell me I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God, sometimes I just want to roll my eyes. The words seem empty and cliche, and at the moment, it doesn’t make me feel better. All I want is to feel secure. 

Something that has helped me feel more secure, however, is realizing I am not alone. Every single girl on this earth has insecurities. 

Why are you insecure? Answer honestly, because it might be different for everyone. You might be insecure because of a guy you want to impress, standards set by people we interact with, which might be emphasized by people pointing your flaws out.  

Instead of working my way around it, I’m going to give the most honest truth: if the guy you like isn’t paying attention to you, he’s not worth your time. I spent three years of my life stuck on a guy outside of my school, and I was constantly insecure because he didn’t like me. Is it me? Why doesn’t he like me? Isn’t it true that I’m beautiful, funny, and intelligent? I really pondered the situation. I found out that it wasn’t me. It was them! I learned that you need to draw a line when you start to change yourself for someone else. There’s nothing wrong with changing for yourself, as long as it’s in moderation and for the better. Make sure you know the difference and ask yourself, “Am I changing for myself, for ME, or for a person?”

P.S. There are plenty more guys out there that you won’t have to chase. Believe me, you will look back and question your liking of him. 

Other insecurities you have might be caused by people pointing them out. Why do they have to point out one of your biggest insecurities? People point out others’ insecurities because they’re most insecure about themselves. Realizing this is a game changer. Instead of taking that insecurity and pointing out others in a way that doesn’t honor them, give it to God. God is full of compassion, grace, and love, and He will approach the situation and help you through it. As your connection with God deepens, He will speak to that uncertainty, and things will start to shift. 

The last result of insecurity makes you feel like you aren’t complete, a lie that God never gave you significance. Therefore, we believe He withholds good from you, which is a lie from the devil. We need to separate him from God. 

As you see in the Bible, with the disciples on the boat during the storm, to Thomas doubting that Jesus truly rose from the dead, and to so many more characters in the Bible, they had insecurity, fear, doubt, and worry. God had such grace and patience for all of them. Don’t think God doesn’t care about the insecurities that are tearing you down, He is a God of love. Bring God into your insecurity, talk to him about the things that tear you down the most. Run to Him and He will have His arms open wide and tell you, “You are beautiful, just the way I created you.”

One of my closest friends, who will remain anonymous, shares her opinion on this topic and hopes to help you through this. 

“Insecurity comes from worry and feelings of inadequacy. When you’re insecure you aren’t looking at all the good things in yourself, you’re looking at the wrong,” she said. “You’re setting an impossible standard for yourself that others have set upon you. Therefore, you pick out every little detail about yourself that you don’t like. Insecurity is an easy thing to come across because sometimes when you’re feeling sensitive someone points out something and it will make you want to change it.”

“Change can be good in proportion and when you have a good mindset. A bad mindset for change can make you want to change yourself into something you aren’t, until you are a figment of everyone’s thoughts and desires rather than your own,” she said. “Ultimately, you want to be what God wants you to be.”

Belonging to something

“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7

Everyone, not just teen girls, wants to be accepted by others. High school is the biggest period in our lives where we need to feel accepted and loved. We have a strong desire to join that one group that we believe is so amazing. Everyone likes them, so if I join the group, I’ll be loved by everyone, right? All I want is to belong!

Those people are members of a group. The geeks, jocks, and populars all hang out together, and I’m just an outsider.

We long for acceptance and people who can love us unconditionally. We want to feel like we belong, but in contrast, being a tag along or a third wheel makes us feel like we don’t matter. As time passes, we eventually accept it and just drown into the thoughts that we aren’t good enough.

A healthy group that cares will make you feel like you belong, that you’re valued and are loved. It doesn’t even have to be a group, but even that one person you consider a friend, stick by them.

 You’d rather find people who cherish you for you. There are people out there, you just have to be intentional. Finding belonging and acceptance in the right places will benefit you in the long run. 

A recent statistic noted that most humans consider popular people good, and unpopular people not good enough. Let’s shift our thinking on this: I encourage you to get out of your group for one day. Talk with other people other than your own group. It’s ok to be uncomfortable, you may make someone’s day, or even year. 

Social Media 

Bright flashing caution lights should be the home screen for the dangers of social media apps. 9.5 hours of scroll time a day is the average for most teens, according to a recent study.

Scrolling through Instagram every minute to see who liked that post, who commented, how many followers do I have now, can mess with your mind. Our craving to be accepted is God-given yet it’s so easy to be driven by our empty soul towards a shallow satisfaction that social media provides. As time passes it’s easier to recognize the unhealthy affect it has on us and that we’ve relied on social media to create a false sense of acceptance.

As Sadie Robertson-Huff said, “Our generation looks more like Instagram influencers than Jesus Christ. We’ve to stop obsessing over who is following us and obsessing over the one that we’re following.”

So how can we find the right path that leads us to true acceptance? Since God created us to be loved, He is the first relationship to meet that deep desire. Secondly, God made us for community and friendships. He said that it was not good for people to be alone. We need true friends, and we must mature to become a true friend. John said that if we are truly walking in the Light with Jesus, that there would be genuine fellowship with other Christians who share the same values, and recognize your values. This provides the environment that creates satisfying acceptance. You belong with God, and friends.

Beauty Standards  

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you,” Song of Solomon.

Many of us have social media and we look at celebrities that appear perfect. Yes they’re beautiful, but that is called filters, photoshop, and makeup. By trying to be like them, we are setting an unrealistic standard for ourselves. We are not supposed to be

those girls on the cover of that magazine, or in that instagram post. Because it’s all fake. The media have blinded our eyes by the fake pictures they’re forcing upon us. 

You’re made in God’s image, you are altogether beautiful, there is no flaw in you. In 1 Samuel, God talks to Samuel, telling him, “I do not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart.” God doesn’t remotely care about our looks, He looks at our heart. He looks at our love for Him and our kindness to other people. Our looks aren’t going to get us into Heaven. Accepting Jesus into our hearts is going to get us there. 

A good friend, that will always remain anonymous, shares their thoughts on beauty standards and why we shouldn’t be concerned with what society thinks.

“Beauty standards are everywhere without even realizing it. Social media has millions of girls with edited pictures and features. It’s not real.  It’s always, ‘I can’t wear this,’ ‘I can’t have that’ because you don’t fit the requirements.” she said, “Nowadays, it’s not if you feel comfortable, it’s how you look. It should be if you’re comfortable in your own skin and not constantly worrying if people are judging you.”

We went over insecurity, belonging and beauty standards. With those feelings teenage girls have to go through, I hope you’ve learned on how to lean on God through this. I want to challenge you with this question: What is your motive behind what you do? 

There are a few reminders that have made me feel better about myself and they may help you. 

• Unfollow celebrities that make you feel insecure and reconsider what true beauty is 
• Move on from the guy (you know who)
• Journal the thoughts of your heart
• Connect with others that can relate
• Focus on God!

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

Philippians 3:12-14 MSG