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Pirates 3 ruins trilogy

There are pirates everywhere. They laugh in the face of midnight, beginning a rousing chorus of ?A Pirate?s Life for Me? and tightening their eye patches. They draw tattoos on their bellies with a ball point pen and yes, most are either finishing the last of their strawberry icees or munching on a gigantic bowl of popcorn.

No, I am not talking about Pirates of the Caribbean: At World?s End; I speak only of the hundreds of fans packed into the movie theater, waiting anxiously for the midnight showing to begin on the night of May 24.

Half of the crowd is decked out in their pirate gear, bought especially for the occasion. Will they be disappointed with the film? Of course not – they probably would not care if the third movie of director Gore Verbinski?s Johnny Depp-propelled trilogy was as painful to sit through as the second installment, Dead Man?s Chest, released last summer, or as embarrassing as Spiderman 3.

The film itself began and I was intrigued, though it was clear within the first five minutes that this movie is definitely not for the younger crowd. Feet dangle in the massive execution-fest that started off the flick. From then on, World?s End is an excess of action, plot and of course, pirates.

The main goal of the motley pirate crew headed by the recently deceased Captain Barbosa (Geoffrey Rush), who was raised from the dead, is to find Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Sparrow, if fans remember, was eaten by the legendary Kraken at the end of Dead Man?s Chest and sent to the afterlife in Davy Jones? Locker.

Of course, this goal does not last long. Once they find the terminally-bizarre Sparrow, they must gather the nine Pirate Brethrens to revive the alliance and retrieve Davy Jones? (Bill Nighy) heart from the evil Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander). Far more subplots run through the movie, such as the quest of heartthrob Orlando Bloom?s character, Will Turner, to save his father from his servitude under Jones? command.

If this sounds like too much plot, it?s because the director never once takes a break from the scheming, bargaining and betrayal brought on by almost every character. It was just too hard to keep track of all the ?if I give you Jack Sparrow, you give me Will Turner? type lines. More often than not, I was trying to remember key plot notes.

I hate to give such a Blockbuster film a semi-negative review, because the battle scenes were amazing and Sparrow?s comedic one-liners and drunken attitude cracked me up, but this film still did not outshine The Curse of the Black Pearl. At least 30 minutes of this three-hour monster film could have been cut and the story would not have suffered.

Despite such a seemingly bad opinion on World?s End, I encourage fans of the trilogy to attend the movie. Besides being confusing and over-saturated with characters not essential to the plot, this is an epic film and a massive crowd-pleaser. The nonstop adventure, hilarious Johnny Depp humor and Hollywood hype give this movie everything it needs to become the highest-grossing weekend opening in history.

Just remember to stay in your seat until after the closing credits for a postscript that gives us some peace of mind for viewers concerned with the end of Turner and Elizabeth Swan?s (Kiera Knightly) romance.

This film is rated PG-13 for intense violence and frightening images, so parents should take caution.

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