Forgiveness is a challenging virtue. Although it seems natural to demand justice for a transgression, mental and physical health depends on forgiveness.

The difficulty to forgive is compounded during high school, when rumors, arguments among friends or even a misinterpreted joke can have unintended effects.

Those who harbor bitterness deceive themselves that resentment alleviates anguish. This poison is most always one-sided; and the initial offender is often unaware or unaffected by the hostility.

Maintaining a grudge exhausts energy and erodes the ability to further trust in other relationships. In addition, constant malignity derails academics, social life and the like.

Grudges carry not only emotional effects but physical as well. Dr. Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet of Hope College in Holland, Michigan, conducted a study of 71 people and monitored the physical alterations when recreating hurtful experiences. Witvliet and colleagues found negative changes in blood pressure, pulse and body stress.

Some never experience such affects, because they seek the person involved and attempt to rectify the problem.

Other situations are more complex. When tempers flare, sometimes the best option is the introduction of a mediator respected by both parties and unbiased to the quandary. A third character can help sweep away the issue at hand and perhaps avoid future arguments. However, pressuring friends to solve the problem is a common mistake.

According to Peter Griffith of the Daily Herald, a dilemma can be solved along with an open mindset.

Griffith suggests admitting anger; asking, ?How would my relationships be different if I abandoned the grudge?” and ?How does holding the grudge benefit me??