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Treat squashes Pumpkin's image

Pumpkin Paul Kinnear, ’06, is reprimanded by The Treat, Nic Westburg, ’05, for trying to usurp his role as King of Halloween. Kinnear, over the month since Oct. 31, has portrayed an unlikely hero who you’d expect to end up as pie filling but instead brings fear to the Christmas season by appearing in videos such as “Gourd in the Hallway” or “Squashed in the Pumpkin Lot.”

?While I have enjoyed a star-like run via the magic of video, as the Great Pumpkin, I may be willing to accept co-treat status with Westburg. I agree there has been enough smashing of the pumpkin image and am willing to accept an armistice and cease-fire with The Treat.

Attempts were made to contact The Treat and he was adament about his role.

“After spending $4.50 on my treat uniform, I will not accept second fiddle in the treat ranking system,” Westburg said. “I will not accept Sargent; I am the general.”

Earlier, instead of portraying the festive holiday spirit Westburg was promoting, Kinnear gained infamous attention when he allegedly pushed Nick Carrera down the stairway, scared Josh Wright when he jumped out of a Christmas package, as a ?Chuckie-like? Jack in the box, and disrupted algebra II honors class making guttural noises and jumping on tables while teacher, Michael Fenton, was sick.

According to substitute teacher and girls? volleyball coach, Larry Orender, Kinnear?s antics were surprising.

?I was shocked when a chicken-legged pumpkin burst into the room and leapt onto the table,? Orender said. ?Sub-school training never covered situations like that. Although his footwork was superb, I had no choice to remove him from the class. Yet there may be a spot for him on the volleyball practice squad next year.?

Westburg was happy to hear there may be a kinder Kinnear in the near future.

“While I haven’t spoken with the Pumpkin man, I am proud he is considering changing his ways,” Westburg said. “Anyone may join our army of jacks but, make no doubt about it, all trainees must go through me.”

Christmas may be just what the lead gourds needed to promote a truce as Kinnear almost seemed apologetic as he walked off to video production class to create his next film, “I once was a lead Gourd.”

?I have a dream to build a better world where pumpkins and Treat wise-men can live together in peace and harmony. May goodwill come to all who dwell within our gourd patch.?

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    collin winegardenAug 30, 2014 at 2:36 am

    I love pinatas, when did this happen? i missed it –haha

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