Amy Durham

Senior Madeleine Durham reflects on a remarkable five years at Fresno Christian and everyone who’s made an impact on her life.

Being on The Feather was not on my bingo card for high school. I did not even know what “Advanced Digital Media” or The Feather was before being placed in the class after my other electives didn’t work with my sophomore year schedule. For two years, I have had the privilege of being the A&E Editor for The Feather, but that’s not where I started. Time to take a trip down memory lane, so “Henry, come on,” and yes, you will be flooded with entertainment references, especially Lana Del Rey, sorry not sorry.

As the late Jim Morrison sang in “Strange Days,” “Strange days have found us” as the end of senior year comes to a close. Who would imagine the COVID-19 sixth-graders would be graduating already? I mean, wasn’t it just my birthday that I found out that we wouldn’t be going to school the following Monday? And yes, my birthday, March 13, was when the Clovis schools said there would be no in-person school for a few weeks.

It’s crazy to think I could be graduating from high school. I guess March 13, 2008, makes me 18, right? My parents, Amy and Edward Durham, find it a little wild that their rambunctious toddler has grown into the nice young lady who will get her diploma and set off to college. While I can still be disorderly and sometimes obsessive over certain things, for example, my love for Lana Del Rey, I believe I have become a calmer, hardworking and creative person because of my high school experience. At least, I think I have.

For those who don’t know me or never knew this about me, I am not an only child. For the first years of our school career, my sister, Katherine Durham, and I attended Fort Washington Elementary School. She’s three years older, so she went to Kastner Intermediate School and Clovis West High School before me, the schools where my mom went. Unlike her, though, I wanted to be different, not on purpose, though. After having a rough, and I mean depression and anxiety-filled, two years during the pandemic, my parents decided it would be a good idea to enroll in a little school that was introduced to them: Fresno Christian Schools.

Since first arriving here in eighth grade, I didn’t see myself on a journalism team, let alone being an editor of one. But here I am, ending senior year as the A&E Editor. Like one of the greatest movies, “Forrest Gump,” said, “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get.” I’ll be honest, I’ve had my fair share of good and bad surprises to come out of high school and life. And as you get older, the rose-colored glasses brightening your day begin to fade, as Robert Frost once said, “Nothing Gold Can Stay.”

It’s been five years since I arrived here at FCS, and I’ve gained a lot: resilience, friendships, and memories that will last a lifetime. I met my best friends here: Ava Lee, ’27, and Ellie Land, ’30. We instantly connected, and I will forever be grateful that they entered my life. Meeting them in Color guard transformed me into a better person. And Color guard brought a passion back to life in me.

My passion for dance was restored, and through it, I have received wonderful opportunities and met amazing people, including my coach, Vanessa Hinojosa. She inspired me to draw out that love for dance that had been forgotten in me for so long. I appreciate the four years I spent under her coaching and guidance, and I will forever remember the impact she made on my life.

The sports I participated in built resilience and perseverance in me: track and field, soccer and a little tennis. For four years, I had the opportunity to sprint and throw shot put in track under the coaching of Shawn Young and Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young. They were encouraging, helping improve my skills, while challenging me with hard workouts. 

Feather Adviser and history teacher Kori James was my own Herb Brooks, the coach of the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” US Olympic hockey team. While not as aggressive as Brooks, James was hard on me, pushing my writing capabilities beyond what I thought I could do. I don’t think I would’ve gotten this far without her.

Another teacher who pushed me was Stephanie McMullen, my AP English teacher for the past two years. From the moment I rushed to finish my summer assignment a few days before school started, I knew her class was going to be a journey. But it’s been an amazing experience. No matter what, her class always had something enjoyable in it, even when we had to do essays.

Gallery • 19 Photos

Madeleine Durham

Acompanied by her mom, Madeleine Durham went to many Oakland Raiders games in Oakland, CA before the franchise moved to Las Vegas, NV.

For two years, I have had the privilege of serving as the A&E Editor for The Feather, but I was not a journalist at the beginning. I was a photojournalist, but I still loved writing along with taking photos. James saw my writing potential, and when I was moved to be a journalist, it changed my time on The Feather.

The previous A&E Editor, Meilani Gilmore Young, graduated, so the position was open. I remember being in class on a day when Kori James called me over and asked if I would be the A&E Editor. I was in shock. No, I was in disbelief. Just the year prior, I was a photographer, and now I’m being asked to be an editor, the first year I was a journalist.

To say that the year was stressful is a complete understatement. Junior year was Mount Everest in my eyes. But it strengthened me for this year. And for my second year as A&E Editor, I’ve grown a lot because of Kori James and The Feather as a whole.

Last semester, those in The Feather would remember me raving about Ireland. I mean it; I talked nonstop about being able to go there before and after the trip. The country was beautiful, the people were incredibly kind and the food was downright amazing. But let’s get to the good moments and not “linger” on the ambiguous answers. And yes, I have to include some references to the greatest Irish band, The Cranberries.

Now, my sister had a study abroad semester over there in a city called Limerick. A little trivia for you rock nerds like me: Limerick is the city where The Cranberries formed, and it’s also where the band’s voice, Dolores O’Riordan, was born and buried. We couldn’t just stay there; my mom, dad, grandma Jodi, sister and I explored more of the charming counties of Ireland: Clare, Galway, Dublin and of course more of Limerick.

In County Clare, our family got to travel to the Cliffs of Moher, located on the West Coast of the island. It was windy and cold, but the views were beautiful, and we could even see the Aran Islands off in the distance. We then spent a day in Dublin, which was definitely not long enough. But, we for sure had enough of the driving there; let’s just say, nobody tells you how odd it is to drive on the left side of the road. The city was lively, and you could always listen to live music on the street and in many of the restaurants and pubs.

My favorite place we visited by far was Galway. And yes, the same Galway that’s in Ed Sheeran’s song, “Galway Girl.” There we found ourselves roaming the market vendors of the Christmas Market. Once the sun started to set, the street lights were mesmerizing and the view of the water was beautiful. And as someone who loves to travel and learn history, our family went to tons of castles and historical sights. So, if the opportunity arises, you are “free to decide” to take a trip to Ireland.

My two most memorable moments, because I cannot decide, were meeting the legendary reporter Bob Woodruff and seeing The Outsiders on Broadway. I know, two completely different moments, but they were incredible. Getting to talk and interview the former ABC World News Tonight Host was amazing. Learning about the deeper moments of his story and his journey to help veterans brought me new insight into what he went through, but also his compassion for wounded veterans.

Now, The Outsiders. This. Show. Was. Amazing. I have never been to a Broadway show, but I’ve wanted to for so long. The story of the Outsiders is so intriguing, and the adaptation did not disappoint. Let’s just say my first draft of the musical was over 3000 words; that’s how much I loved it. Not to mention getting most of the cast to sign my playbill and talking to one of the cast members in the subway after the show. I definitely fangirled the rest of the trip about it, but for good reason. 

For years, I have dreamed of going to New York City. I always wanted to see the buildings and spaces portrayed in the shows and movies I watched as a kid and watch now. And Lana del Rey references New York quite a bit. This year, I got that opportunity because of The Feather. The entire week was the most memorable time. 

I got to live part of my dream with a lot of people I loved. From getting ready while listening to The Outsiders playlist with Danielle Arndt, to raving about the show with Sophia Feldkamp, I had the best time. Getting to watch a New York Rangers game in person was another dream come true. Not only did I get to see my first NHL game in my dream city, but it was also the “Battle of the Hudson.” Also called the “Hudson River Rivalry,” the battle is one of the most intense rivalries of the NHL: the New York Rangers versus the New Jersey Devils. And of course, the match-up was even more heated coming off the Winter Olympics US win high.

While we were there, I taught a class with Kyleigh Baca and Dorina Gilmore Young at Columbia University for CSPA. Trust me, it was nerve-wracking, but I had two amazing people up there with me.

If you are someone considering doing Advanced Digital Media, do it. While stressful at times. It was an incredible experience, and I met so many great people who shaped my high school experience for the better. One thing that I would say to those considering doing the class: be teachable, and be able to take constructive criticism.

My mind always blanks when it comes to inspirational quotes and messages to give to others. I’ve never been a TED Talk person, but I guess I have to be the one on the stage, giving a speech now. I wish I could say something original; however, I’m not that creative in this way, so I’ll take from one of my favorite movies (yes, I have a lot of favorite movies). As the late actor, Robin Williams, said as teacher John Keating in Dead Poets Society: “Carpe Diem.” 

Now, if you haven’t seen Dead Poets Society, one, what are you doing? Go watch it, and two, “Carpe Diem” is a Latin phrase meaning “Seize the Day.” There are countless times I wish I could have seized an opportunity or been more aware and grateful for the things going on around me in the present. You don’t need to be so laser-focused on what major you’re going to take or what college you’ll be going to; just live in the present moment. I think living by this principle would have saved me a lot of stress back then, and it’s teaching me to become a better, more relaxed and enjoyable person to be around. 

The classes weren’t just a cause for stress in my life. There’s one word that shifted the rest of my high school life from last year til then end, and even after. Cancer. Who knew one word could be so devastating? It’s heartbreaking to hear when people have cancer, but it’s completely crushing to know your loved ones have the disease. Last year, that became my reality.

First, it was my grandma, my dad’s mom, who was diagnosed with lung and ovarian cancer. While that changed my family, especially since my grandparents were in Oklahoma, it seemed manageable. Then came this year, January. My entire world was rocked. My own mom was diagnosed with cancer.

Stage 2 Breast Cancer. For a while, none of it seemed real. I felt like I was living in a movie or something. My mom. My mom had a disease that affects over two million people in the United States. It wasn’t fair. At least, that’s what I thought for a while. And especially as my mom started chemotherapy, it was hard.

On Thursday, May 7, Amy Durham, my mom, my biggest supporter and my hero, rang the bell. After their last chemotherapy session, cancer patients ring a bell, signaling that they have finished that chapter of treatment. After a long five months, she was finally done with the grueling chemo appointments. Even though she still has to get through two other treatments, my mom overcame the first hurdle of this race with strength.

I wish this sign-off could all be smiles and joyful memories, yet it would not be all of my high school. Nearing the end of April of this year, I was unable to be at school for a week. A family emergency, I said, although it was really a family goodbye. My grandma, the one who had cancer, was dying. She had metastatic cancer in her brain. For those who don’t know, metastatic cancer is cancer that travels from the original site to other parts of the body. This causes the disease to be even more challenging to treat. I said goodbye to my grandma, Brenda Durham, on Tuesday, April 28. But the Lord is good, and I know she’s watching over me.

Next year, I will stay in Fresno at Clovis Community College, getting my general education done before I head off out of state. Following in the footsteps of my sister, I will be attending Liberty University all the way in Virginia. I know, across the country. There, I’ll work to receive two majors, both in Criminal Justice. I will strive to work in the Department of Homeland Security in Virginia or in New York City, where I would love to live.

I want to thank my family and friends for joining me in this part of my life. To Kyleigh Baca, Delaney Meyers, Danielle Arndt, Tabitha Peters, Austin Kinzle, Hayden Spurrier, Selah Neal and Benson Elbert: thank you for being the best editor team I could have been a part of. Not to mention, Meyers and Arndt were the best roommates for New York. To my best friends, Ava Lee and Ellie Land, thank you for comforting me in my hard times, but also for matching my crazy shenanigans. To Isabella Garza, K’lanna McArn, Giana Oberti, Olivia Saldivar and Bella Barrett, thank you for being my friends and making me laugh and smile for the years I have known you all. And to every one of my friends I did not mention, I thank you all for accompanying me on this journey.

I want to give a huge thank you to my mother. She is the strongest woman I know. Even during her diagnosis, she always brought light to a dark world. No matter what I did, you were always proud of me, Mom. I could not have done anything without you. Thank you. To my father, who, while tough, loved me unconditionally, even with my attitude. He’s always been there to cheer me on, especially for my last soccer game and my last track and field meet.

And to my grandma, Brenda, even though you didn’t get to see me walk on that stage, I know you were looking down on me. You always told me how proud you were of me, and the love you gave to me will never be forgotten. 

So, two last song references for you:

“We’re just beautiful people with beautiful problems, beautiful problems, God knows we’ve got them; But we’ve got to try.”

And, for the final time, “signing off, bang, bang, kiss, kiss.” ~Madeleine

To read more from The Feather, visit Senior Reflection: Kyleigh Baca and Senior Reflection: Georgia Karlson.